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The Accident Report

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Rich_r
Pennsylvania, United States

This is an article taken from a lawyer journal describing a request made by an insurance company to an insured claimant relevant to an accident report filed by the insured. The insurance company requested a fuller explanation from the insured as to how and why the accident happened.

The insured begins by listing “Poor planning” as his cause for the accident and files the following explanation…………

“ I was working alone on a six story building. When I completed my work I found that I had some bricks left over which later were found to weigh 240 pounds. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel using a pulley.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out from the roof and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and untied the rope. Holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 240 pounds of bricks.

You will note on the accident report form that my weight is 135 pounds. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collar bone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascend, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, I regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly onto the rope.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately…50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight of 135 pounds. I began a rapid decent and in the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the pile of bricks, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its rapid decent back towards me.”

Now this is compelling writing. Isn’t it !

Posted 18 Jun 2009 04:06 AM

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EasyM
South Carolina, United States

Damn funny!

Posted 25 Jul 2009 06:50 AM

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